Jill’s Blog

random rants and raves

Every Mom phrase ever said sung to the William Tell Overture.

I’m curious what others think about this. A family returning home from Florida was removed from their flight when their three year old child would not take her seat. The airline says the flight was already running 15 minutes late but does not specify whether that was because of the little girl’s tantrum or because of the airline’s own issues. It also doesn’t say whether they boarded early when passengers traveling with small children are allowed to load, which means we don’t know how long the little girl had been out of control—five minutes or thirty.

Personally, I think this is why it’s a good idea to bring a carseat on a flight. If they don’t want to sit, too bad. Strap ‘em in. On the other hand, I can understand a small child feeling overwhelmed, overtired, hungry, etc. when having to deal with air travel. Who knows how long they had been at the airport already? But I also know that if I was sitting on the flight with my own children, and they were being pretty patient, I wouldn’t want to wait an extra 15-30 minutes while someone else dealt with their child?

So, what do you think? How much leeway should parents of small children be given when loading an airplane?

As many of you with small children probably know, The Wiggles are down a man. Yellow Wiggle, Greg Page, is leaving The Wiggles due to illness and will be replaced by Sam Moran. Greg is suffering from orthostatic intolerance, which causes dizziness, fatigue and nausea. Greg is a favorite Wiggle in our house and will be missed. Here’s hoping he makes a full recovery soon.

If you haven’t ever seen Animal School, you really must take a look at it. It was originally posted on Raising Small Soul’s website, but I’m posting it here from You Tube. If you enjoy it, please do stop by Raising Small Soul’s website for more great information.

One of my favorite things about homeschooling is that my children get to be children. They don’t have to enter the ranks of teens at the age of 8. As you get older, it’s easy to look at today’s ten year olds and think, they act much older than ten year olds did in my day. It’s also easy to dismiss that and think that surely you must be imagining things. But in a recent USA Today article, experts are saying the same thing: 10 IS the new 13.

To me, that’s a scary thought. Corporations encourage the attitude, but really the responsibility for keeping kids kids falls with the parents. I remember years ago there was an episode of Full House where the twins were going away to kindergarten, and the Mom was having a hard time letting go. I was so struck by the quote, “Well, they have to grow up some time”. At five? Are you kidding me?!?

So, what do you think? What, if anything, should parents do to preserve their children’s childhoods? And does it really matter?

This is this week’s question of the week over at WAHM bloggers. I thought, great, an easy one. I know how I measure success, right? I DO know how I measure success, don’t I? I mean, success is… uh oh. I DON’T know how I measure success. Rats. Another week of introspection required to answer the question.

So, I think that the easy answer for me would be “success is fulfilling God’s purpose for my life”. Well, that’s great, but how do I measure that? At the end of the day, how do I know whether today was successful, or not?

At the end of the day, I should ask myself “Today, did I love God to the best of my ability and show that by my actions? And did I love my fellow man (and myself) to the best of my ability and show it by my actions?” If I can answer “yes” to both, that’s a successful day.

So, what does that look like? How does that figure in with my day to day life? When my children had questions, did I answer them and pay attention to them, or did I decide that my blog/Yahoo answers/my email/etc. was more important? Did I make food choices that help me to be healthier and more productive, or did I decide that I just had to have another piece of birthday cake? Did I use my blog or emails to communicate to others in a way that helps them or did I just waste their time? Did I greet my husband in a loving manner with appreciation for all he’s done, or did I greet him with a list of complaints? Did I try to keep my house so that I would feel happy to open my doors to provide hospitality, or did I become ensnared in perfectionistic tendencies that tell me nothing is ever good enough?

Deep down, I think we all know when we’re successful. We know when we’ve had that day that just feels great, when all is right with the world, and we know when we’ve fallen short. Even if we never take the time to define what success means to us, we know how it feels (and we know how failure feels, too). But sometimes it’s good to sit down for a minute and take the time to figure out what measuring stick we’re using. Are we trying to live up to our own expectations, or are we just trying to make others happy?

What do you think— how do you define success?

I think that getting out is key when you’re a stay at home Mom, doubly so when you homeschool, perhaps triply so if you also work at home. So may women make the mistake of thinking that they can’t find the time. But then ultimately they burn out and have to find the time to get a job and put the kids in daycare because “being a stay at home Mom didn’t work out”. Well, even the worst job you could have outside the house recognizes the need for time off. When you work from home, there is no built-in time off— not even for illness. So, what do I do for fun when I do eek out a moment without the kids?

Does grocery shopping by myself count? Seriously, my husband is very good about watching the kids while I get out at least a couple of times each month. I wish I could get out WITH him more often, but that usually doesn’t happen. I try to make it to the gym a couple of times each week— by myself.

Also, I have a monthly book club that meets at Panera’s. We usually stay until they kick us out the door after 9. I’m also joining a new homeschooling group, and they have monthly Mom’s night out meetings. So hopefully I’ll be adding that to my list of things to do. Informally I get together for dinner with friends from time to time. And, finally, I belong to a homeopathy group that meets about once a month to learn more about that fascinating subject. Hmmm. Maybe I get out more than I think.

For many Moms who work at home, the summer provides a new obstacle— what to do with the kids? School’s out, and they’re home. How do you handle the additional distraction.

In the Manty household, school is in session pretty much every day, and Mom Manty is the teacer, so the only difference that summer makes for us is that we actually tend to do more schoolwork to avoid the throngs of students out for the summer who take over our usual field trip locations. It’s too hot to go outside in Texas for half the summer, so what else is there to do except hand them books to read?

So, how do I juggle homeschooling with working from home (I guess my online business and blogging qualify as “working from home”, although I never really think of myself that way ) ? Well, for one thing, my children come first. I’m my own boss. I own my businesses. If I declare today a day off because my children need all of me, so be it. But many days my children do not need or want my constant vigilance. They want to play in their rooms or play a game with one of their siblings, and while they’re occupied, I write, or answer emails, or fill orders… But my schedule revolves around theirs, not vice versa. Sometimes I fail to remember this, and no one is happy. I fuss, they cry, I remember why it is that I know that it needs to work the other way.

I know this manner of dealing with work won’t work for everyone. Many people are NOT their own boss, and they have someone breathing down their neck to produce. I’m very blessed to not have that situation. I just sometimes need the reminder.

My 7 year old just told me that he did his best stacking the silverware, and that his best was the best he could do. I was right there with him, thinking “That’s right my best is the best I can do”. Then he quantified it with “Well, it’s the best I can do without taking more time”. When I tried to explain to him that sometimes our true best takes a bit more time, he let me know he just wasn’t interested in investing that kind of time in stacking silverware.

In many ways, he’s right. There are things that we spend far too much time getting perfect when our time would be better spent on more meaningful things. However, there are times when we do have to invest that extra five minutes to get things right. The trick is being able to tell the difference.

I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve my/our parenting— I always try to involve my husband in the improvement, as well So, when I recently read this article, taken from the book, How to Raise Your Children Without Raising Your Voice, I was really impressed.

So many parenting books give you some nice, warm fuzzy ideas, but very little practical advice. I particularly liked the information on the 80/20 principle (basically, you should have 4 positive interactions with your children for every 1 negative interaction) and the 2X rule, which says that you should never repeat yourself more than twice. I’ve liked the advice so much that I plan to buy the book. And I’m passing the link along to you

Do you have children with normal feet? You should count yourselves very blessed. Our second oldest has wide feet. Well, really they’re extra wide.

Like his father, this means buying shoes for him is a challenge. My husband has been known to buy very expensive shoes that were perfect in the store but miraculously no longer fit after being worn twice. Ugh.

So, the extra wide footed boy has done the same thing to me in the past. I’ve bought shoes for him that were “fine” at the store but have only been worn twice since then. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if we could buy Payless shoes, but only a few brands make extra wide shoes. We have always bought him Stride Rites because that is what fits him. But at almost $50 per pair, I simply can’t afford for him to just not wear shoes.

Today we had another shoe buying adventure. We put the first pair on, and he said they were “okay”. I said “okay like you’ll wear them, or okay like they don’t really feel that good?” “Okay like they don’t really feel that good” Sometimes I get answers like, “Mostly good, except they’re too bumpy.” I have no idea what that means, but I’ve learned to never buy another pair of shoes that are too bumpy. We finally settled on a pair of lace-up Stride Rites. They said he needed a 2 1/2, but we bought a three. Hopefully, that we’ll buy us a couple of extra months before we have to shoe shop again. Now I just have to get shoes for one more child. Maybe we’ll only have to take out a small home equity loan to buy everyone shoes this spring.

This is one of the best pieces of parenting advice I know— never, and I mean NEVER tell your children what is in food before they eat it. If they rave about the food and ask for seconds, then maybe you can tell them after they’ve eaten it.

For example, you’ve made banana muffins. Under no circumstances are you to describe them as “banana” muffins— they are just muffins. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter if your child loves bananas— banana muffins may still be suspicious to them.

There is an exception to this. If your child loves bananas (or any other food) and will only eat bananas, then everything is banana.

“Oh, you don’t like spaghetti? But this is banana spaghetti!”