It’s been a while, but I feel the need to write some just for me. And for you, if you’re reading. A lot has changed in the last couple of years.

George, my dear husband, was laid off from Hewlett Packard in May of 2009. Thus, began a new journey. After much prayer and soul searching, we decided not to return to the ranks of other-employed and to enter the world of self-employed. We started a company together, MantyWeb Designs, which led to the next change.

I transitioned from the world of at home, at the beck and call of my children with time to go on field trips, cook, bake, clean (okay, who am I kidding? I didn’t find time for that even back then), read out loud to the world of, “Bwa ha ha! You want dinner?”.

Some things have stayed the same. We’re still homeschooling, although now George and I juggle those duties between the two of us. We’re still happily married. Yay! The kids still seem mostly happy, except on whiny days, which they certainly still had even back in the “good old days”.

For the most part, it’s been a real change for the positive. I really enjoy working outside of the house, building the business, meeting with clients and working on such an immense project with George. In some ways I feel more myself than I have in years. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the years of being home with my children, but there’s a lot about the stay at home, homeschooling world that’s not the best fit for my personality. I always felt a bit like a fish out of water, and I feel more at home with a foot in both worlds, rather than immersed in home.

On the other hand, some days I really miss being able to focus on just one thing. The other day George and I sat down to do some long range planning. Part of this planning was sitting down and writing out your “ideal day”. When I was done, I decided my ideal day had 42 hours because I felt like there just wasn’t enough time for everything and everyone. On the up side, I did discover that there were some parts of my “ideal day” that I was missing that I could have right now with just a little bit of rearranging.

I’m still working on figuring out how to integrate it all together. Not in the “Super Mom, I can be all things to all people all the time” way. But in the “I know my priorities, but today’s priority might not be tomorrow’s priority, and some things that seem like they ought to be priorities may just have to go by the wayside” way.

It’s been a huge lesson in letting go. For someone who has controlling tendencies, it’s been hard but so what I needed. I almost made myself sick after meeting with the first few potential clients waiting for them to get back to us. Now I know that it may take people MONTHS to make a decision, and there’s not a whole lot I can do to change that. On the other hand, some things that seemed so completely out of our hands before now are within our control (to an extent). Where before we had to wait on corporate headquarters to determine whether George’s salary would increase, we can now get out there and make more calls, meet with more people and improve our bottom line.

If you’ve read all this, wow, I’m impressed. But I wrote it because I needed to write down the journey thus far. Maybe you’re in the same place. Whether you homeschool, or not. Whether you work outside the home, or not. Mom, or no. Wife, or no. I bet today you’re trying to juggle it all.

I wish had a cute wrap up with some sage advice that would make it all fall into place and simple for myself and for you. Unfortunately, for us all, I don’t. I do feel better having written it all down. So, if you think it would help you to get it all out, feel free to write back in the comments and let me know what you’re trying to juggle these days.